You don't. You have no choice. A cat's "meow" can be a "woof" for him. If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. Whenever some boomer try's to lecture you about how their first job in the 60s they only made $3 an hour, just remember, $3 in 1969 had the equivalent buying power as $25.01 today. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbyinglobbying to get what they want. "I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. After that, they dont want to know about you. Quantserve sets the mc cookie to anonymously track user behaviour on the website. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. ", 57. What if I want to have a crappy day? This is the best we can do folks. They OWN YOU. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. ", 9. ", 54. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. And Bushis pushing this country farther down the hill, faster than anyone has before. Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. George Carlin, Meow means woof in cat. George Carlin, When youre born you get a ticket to the freak show. "Politicians are there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice. We havent tried that for a while. 3 queens who slayed while imitating Rep. George Santoss drag alter ego, Kitara Rivache, Libs Of TikTok's Chaya Raichik & Nikki Haley gave CPAC speeches to mostly empty rooms, Tennessee issues trans healthcare ban & nation's first drag ban. "Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean that the circus has left town. Maybe this time itll work. By programmers in one hour. Everybody's . We're all fucked," Carlin once said. Theyre not interested in that. This cookie, set by Cloudflare, is used to support Cloudflare Bot Management. They should be giving their money to you. ", 20. Facebook sets this cookie to show relevant advertisements to users by tracking user behaviour across the web, on sites that have Facebook pixel or Facebook social plugin. F*ck Hope. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. Nitwits, assholes, fuckups, scumbags, jerkoffs, and dipshits. Change), You are commenting using your Twitter account. Theyre all in favor of the unborn. You get kicked out when youre too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. It helps in consumer profiling for online advertising. "Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bulls**t they teach you in school. ", 62. After that, they don't want to know about you. ", 82. This helps to distinguish between new, returning, and loyal visitors. I, on the other hand, who did not vote -- who did not even leave the house on Election Day -- am in no way responsible for what these politicians have done and have every right to complain about the mess that you created.". By the way, its the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever til the end of time! [5] And another one: "People are wonderful one at a time. These two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death. ", 10. Two decades later, the anti-abortion movement hasn't really changed. 1. ", 117. 42. The embattled gay representative has denied his drag persona, but these three performers have embraced her with comedic flair! "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. This cookie is used for identifying the geographical location by country of the user. Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. ", 23. Enter your email address below then click "FOLLOW" to receive email notifications of new posts. Because if everything is really the fault of politicians, where are all the bright, honest, intelligent Americans who are ready to step in and replace them? YouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) ", 8. On July 26, a 2-minute video created by Pattern Integrity Films was published on YouTube, and it quickly took off via social media. School officials told the couple that they present an inherent harm to kids.. Try spelling Evian backward. "Bulls**t is truly the American soundtrack. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? You are also agreeing to our Terms of Service and Privacy Policy. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vZijLQGH1v0 No, wait, hold on . They own everything," the quote reads. Tell them the paint is wet, and they have to touch it to be sure. "Electricity is really just organized lightning. ", 86. If youre pre-born, youre fine, if youre preschool, youre fucked.. They don't want to hear from you. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. George Carlin : Designed to scare and control primitive people. Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist. [] I look at war a little bit differently. "Governments don't want well-informed, well-educated people capable of critical thinking. - George Carlin. You think your current financial. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. "The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. The Romantic Comedy You Should Watch This Valentines Day, Based On Your ZodiacSign, Valentines Day Streaming Guide: The Best Rom-Coms To Binge On Netflix, HBO Max, AndMore, How Narcissists Use Dog Whistling To Covertly Abuse You: Signs Of This Dangerous ManipulationMethod, 11 Christmas Movies To Watch If Youre Dealing With Heartbreak Over TheHolidays. In his 1996 HBO special Back in Town, the late comic legend and social critic George Carlin nailed the hypocrisy of social conservatives who rail against abortion and birth control with "pro-life" rhetoric while simultaneously attacking social . I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". ", 48. . People are stupid because, well, people are stupid. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. and if you want to make this about "comedy" then Carlin should tell these things called "jokes". 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and not theyre coming for your Social Security money. But He loves you. I just dont have as many people who believe it. Well what if I don't want to? Republicans have been trying to get people to work for no pay for a long time. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. 'They dont want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. Thats what all that adolescent, macho, male posturing and strutting in bars and locker rooms is all about. "Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. "I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. You probably know what pinkwashing and queerbaiting are, but how about abrosexual and multisexual? ""The owners of this country know the truth: It's called the American dream because you have to be asleep to believe it. ", 119. "Instead of warning pregnant women not to drink, I think female alcoholics ought to be told not to f**k.", 71. "Don't give your money to the church. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This cookie can only be read from the domain they are set on and will not track any data while browsing through other sites. Your culture and entertainment cheat-sheet. It will not be with jack-boots. Why not Despair, Guilt, Rage, and Grief? As politicians and social media commentators weighed in on . ", 88. ", 66. "You don't know anything about pain until you've seen your own baby . "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? Bluekai uses this cookie to build an anonymous user profile with data like the user's online behaviour and interests. Its a big club and you aint in it. ", 10. "People who see life as anything more than pure entertainment are missing the point. "One can never know for sure what a deserted area can look like. ", 63. Founded in 2010, Thought Catalog is owned and operated by The Thought & Expression Company, Inc. For over a decade, we've been at the bleeding edge of media, pioneering an infrastructure for creatives to flourish both artistically and financially. ", 96. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. They say, 'If you don't vote, you have no right to complain,' but where's the logic in that? Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. This cookie is used to manage the interaction with the online bots. The Great George Carlin. Thats what the owners count on. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is . "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. They should be more vivid. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. Carlin, who was known for spewing critical rhetoric against the government, organized religion and big business, first delivered the quote during his 2005 HBO comedy special, Life Is Worth Losing. Change), You are commenting using your Facebook account. George Carlin quotes and jokes about politics and religion "Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance". This cookie is used for embedding The Guardian video player. They are irrelevant. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. That's the problem. You think the schools are the way they are by accident? And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid." 2. Others see it half empty. They own and control the corporations. (LogOut/ "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. I took his shoes. And they all vote. So we are going to have to do lots of things different as a Black community," Ice Cube said in a video shared on Twitter on October 11. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. The sp_t cookie is set by Spotify to implement audio content from Spotify on the website and also registers information on user interaction related to the audio content. You have owners. they don't wanna know about you. ""Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. ", 74. They dont pass through a membrane from another reality. 27 Feb 2023 13:57:17 "What if there were no hypothetical questions? G eorge Carlin was ahead of his time. Used by Zoominfo to enhance customer data. Carlin was at his best talking about America's broken political system, summing up the anger, resentment and frustration felt by much of the population who knew something was wrong but could not express it. That doesnt help them. ", 36. You only get to hear cats. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. It takes up a lot of your time. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. You have no choice. "May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, I am is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. "I don't have pet peeves. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. If youre preborn, youre fine; if youre preschool, youre fucked. You have no choice. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. ", 103. In the standup special, which premiered just three years before Carlin's death, the comedian claims that "the real owners are the big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions." 28. r/antiwork. "The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. ", 107. - Arthur Baer. ", 65. Everybody complains about politicians. "Some people see the glass half full. Laugh until you gasp for breath. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. "I think everyone should treat one another in a Christian manner. Learn how your comment data is processed. "Sometimes people say, 'Do I try to make audiences think?' Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet. An old clip of George Carlin is gaining new life after this weeks reports from the Supreme Court on abortion. "War is rich old men protecting their property by sending middle class and lower class men off to die. ", 40. Toothpicks? Over time, though, his success grew. 'You give us a color, we'll wipe it out. ", 17. Thats the problem. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. He has been widely cited as a political humor expert and authored two books on the subject. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. ", 79. You dont. ", 92. The domain of this cookie is owned byOracle Eloqua. No neonatal care, no day care, no head start, no school lunch, no food stamps, no welfare, no nothing. The truth is that George Carlin would be branded a left-wing nut job who has pie-in-the-sky ideas and wants people to collect money for doing nothing. Whats that, a bonus? "Some people see things that are and ask, 'Why?' Below are some famous quotes and jokes by the man, the myth, the legend, the comedian George Carlin. They own everything" "They've. The cookie is set by Snapchat to show relevant ads to the users by tracking user behaviour on Snapchat. Why? 2023 BuzzFeed, Inc. All rights reserved. The cookies contains information that allows Prebid servers to distinguish between browsers and mobile devices. And complaining about the politicians. Just like homeless people. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but Ill tell you what they dont want. "Im completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. ""Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. "It helps to remember this.. - Doc Holliday. Nobody seems to care. He said: Once you leave the womb, conservatives don't care about you until you reach military age. -26 1amathrowaway 1 yr. ago On June 24, 2022, the U.S. Supreme Court overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a women's constitutional right to an abortion in the country. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, its not the politicians who suck. ", 16. I just dont have as many people who believe it. George Carlin, Now, theres one thing you might have noticed I dont complain about: politicians. There's only the immediate future and the recent past. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. "We have multiplied our possessions but reduced our values. A Death! The test_cookie is set by doubleclick.net and is used to determine if the user's browser supports cookies. Ice Cube and his political affiliations have been in the spotlight ever since White House senior advisor Katrina Pierson publicly thanked the Friday actor for his help in developing the "Platinum Plan" with Trump officials. ", 94. '", 73. Scorecard Research sets this cookie for browser behaviour research. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. ", 116. You can't be winning a culture war if most people hate you and your culture and it is causing you to lose elections. ", 112. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? Forget the politicians. Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. And I didn't really care in the first place. "There's a humorous side to every situation. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked." Carlin considered conservatives and Republicans the greedy, warmongering class in political ideologies. 03 Mar 2023 16:21:02 They dont give a fuck about you. "How can [God] be perfect? They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses, and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Elect me. Put the blame where it belongs: on the people. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. This cookie is managed by Amazon Web Services and is used for load balancing. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. StackAdapt sets this cookie as a Random Identifier for user identification, to display relevant advertisements. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. Let's start with critical race theory. Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, People who say they dont care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they dont care what people think. George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. He talked about things that could be considered controversial, like politics and politicians, religion, drugs, and the demise of humanity. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. ", 46. Teach them to question what they read. Its a subconscious need to project the penis into other peoples affairs. 4. ", 109. Soon enough you'll be dead and burning in Hell with the rest of your family. ", 33. They own you. The demdex cookie, set under the domain demdex.net, is used by Adobe Audience Manager to help identify a unique visitor across domains. The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, What if there were no hypothetical questions? George Carlin, The planet is fine. ", 8. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. If you're preborn, you're fine; if you're preschool, you're f**ked. I don't trust none of them. ", 9. Am I right? You will be notified via email when a new post is published. They dont want that. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. AdScale sets this cookie to target ads by registering the user's movements across websites. "I was a loner as a child. "I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood.